Author Interview: SARA DOBIE BAUER

You may remember my book review of BITE SOMEBODY by Sara Dobie Bauer. And if you follow me on Twitter, you must have seen me fangirling over Sara every since I read it.

Well, the sequel, BITE SOMEBODY ELSE, came out last week and I’ve been like this:

I had to have a cold shower and a lie down when Sara agreed to be interviewed for my blog.

But first, my review of BITE SOMEBODY ELSE.

Imogene clomped into my life in BITE SOMEBODY, which is still one of my favourite paranormal romances ever. Her awkward best friend Celia had centre stage in the first of the series, but Imogene isn’t the type of woman to stay in the background for longer than about 3.2 seconds. In BITE SOMEBODY ELSE, she takes the limelight in a hilarious and badass way. Imogene is a woman after my own heart (which she would probably blend into a blood cocktail and drink while judging my corpse’s fashion sense). She relaxes “to the soothing sound of heavy metal”, her version of happy is “somewhere between amused and not angry”, and she is vaguely disgusted by her best friend’s pregnancy. Thanks to her, I’m having cards printed which say, “Congratulations on your pregnancy. If you ever once tell me about the baby’s bowel movements, I will punch your partner in the face.” But, of course, she isn’t disgusted by the cute little half-vampire half-human baby whose arrival is imminent. She’s worried about it, especially since Celia’s pregnancy is progressing at an alarming rate, and is relieved when Dr Nick (not the, “Hi everybody!” one) arrives as a specialist vampire-baby doctor from London. Only, that’s not all he specialises in. He’s like a vampiric speculum, getting all up in any vagina that presents itself since 1859. If all smear tests could be with Lord Nicholas of Sexyshire, cervical cancer would go the same way as smallpox. As well as my beloved Celia and Ian, BITE SOMEBODY ELSE includes cameos from many of our friends from BITE SOMEBODY – Dr Savage, Ralph of the premature-boinging-fame, David Bowie (sadness), Heidi (who always carries a pitchfork) and my new favourite side character, Vixen, who OMG so totally isn’t killing people anymore, please don’t think that :cryingface: :sobbing emoticon: :sadface: And if you don’t read BITE SOMEBODY ELSE and find out what Imogene manages to teach the vampire baby in the womb, you’ll be the one with the :cryingface:

I hosted a Twitter Q&A with Sara on release day, which you can catch up on using #BiteSomebodyElse.

And now… the interview!

What is it about vampires that has inspired fascination, curiosity, and fear in humans for so many centuries?

In legends, they’ve often been depicted as sexy and charismatic (although not in the Bite Somebody series—except Nicholas, I guess). I’m pretty sure we all like the idea of being seduced by someone incredibly attractive. Then, there’s the whole immortality thing. Vampires live forever. They’ve conquered death, which is something most mere mortals fear. Plus, they have awesome pointy teeth. They can probably open beer bottles without a bottle opener, which is right up there in importance with mind control and the ability to disappear into mist whenever I say something dumb.

Who are your writing inspirations? 

My favorite writers and what they’re good at:

Christopher Moore: comedy

Neil Gaiman: plotting

Carlos Ruiz Zafon: atmosphere

Rainbow Rowell: character chemistry

CS Pacat: sexual tension

Anna Kaling: making me choke on coffee while I snort laugh

Anna: I didn’t write that last one; Sara did. And now that she has, I can let her family go unharmed.

What’s the best piece of writing advice you’ve been given?

Find your voice. I’ve written in a million different genres. Seriously, a million—from fantasy to science fiction to horror to erotica to comedy to yadda yadda. The stories of mine that sell fastest are comedic romance, so although I still write other genres, I know my strength. I play to my strength. The moral of the story: don’t try to be something you’re not. If you’re funny, be funny and don’t try to win a Pulitzer. That award banquet is probably boring anyway.

As well as writing some of the funniest books ever you’re a model, have a sexy husband, live with puppies made of cute, and have the kind of charisma that makes people want to lick your cheekbones. There’s no question here. I’m just bitching.

I would lick your cheekbones. Shrug.

Anna: You’d probably be licking off food I spilled on myself while eating with my boss and wearing a white top.

I’m going to assume you’re a Buffy fan because you have great taste. Angel or Spike? I know you wouldn’t, but if you say Riley we can never talk again.

Spike. No contest. He’s a funny bad boy who smokes and wears leather. And he’s British. (I have an obsession with British men.) Angel is so fucking tragic and mopey. No thanks, dude. Get over your moral qualms and go kill some people. Stupid Angel.

Anna: “Go kill some people” is good, general advice.

So, the BITE SOMEBODY series. Where did the idea come from?

Pretty sure I was half drunk on a sunny beach in the Florida Keys, drinking a rum punch, when I thought, “This would be the dumbest place to live if I were a vampire.” This thought process—fueled by additional rum punches—flourished into the played-out idea that vampires are all attractive and charming and glitter in the sun. It occurred to me that becoming a vampire probably wouldn’t change a person that much. If you were an awkward human, you’d be an awkward vampire, am I right? Celia Merkin was born. The character of Imogene came soon after as I let my Freudian id take over.

Like Imogene, I enjoy relaxing “to the soothing sound of heavy metal.” What would be the theme song for BITE SOMEBODY ELSE?

Hilariously, it’s not heavy metal at all. The song is “Alone” by Heart. It’s a super duper 80s power ballad, and it’s perfect for Imogene and Nicholas, especially the chorus: “Till now I always got by on my own / I never really cared until I met you / And now it chills me to the bone / How do I get you alone?” Spoiler alert: Imogene totally gets him alone. Several times.

Anna: I LOVE THAT SONG SO HARD.

And who would play the cast in a movie? You owe me a signed copy if it’s Benedict Cumberbatch for Nicholas, because I made a bet with you when you were asleep.

Duh, you nerd, of course Benedict would play Nicholas. Prior to writing a single word of Bite Somebody Else, I was sitting on my back porch in Ohio with my husband, struggling to create a character Imogene would fall in love with. It was my husband who finally said, “Why don’t you just literally base a character on Cumberbatch?” Done! In the film version, I would play Imogene—and not only because I want to smooch a certain British actor but also because, when people read Imogene in Bite Somebody, they assumed she was based on me. (Compliment? Hmm, dunno.) Felicia Day would play Celia, and, ridiculously, Benedict Cumberbatch would also play Ian … only he would have his floofy Sherlock hair. (God, I’m such a nerd.)

Anna: Yeah, I totally think she’s based on you.

Ian, the hero of BITE SOMEBODY, has a Florida surfer guy thing going on. Nicholas, hero of BITE SOMEBODY ELSE, is more of a three-piece-suit-with-ironing-that’d-make-a-house-elf-proud thing going on. Who’s more your type?

My husband, Jake, is a mixture of the two, but his tendencies lean more toward Nicholas—just like all my ex-boyfriends. So I guess Nicholas. Jake does indeed iron his clothes every morning, and he wears this yummy cologne that makes me wanna just … Yeah.

Sorry to lower the tone and everything but readers of the blog should be resigned to that by now… Can vampires get erections when they’re hungry? I mean, without fresh blood, their cocks are like sad, empty sausage casings flapping in the wind, right?

Yes, they can get erections when they’re hungry. But their faces turn blue.

If you could glamour people like Imogene, how would you use your dastardly power?

I would make people in bars order super expensive martinis and give them to me. I would furthermore glamour a bunch of male Olympic gymnasts to carry me around town on their shoulders.

Is there a way to tell which blood type we’d favour if we were vamps? There should totally be one of those quizzes you get in teenage girl magazines where you count whether you answered mostly A, B, or C to find out if your soul mate is Zack, Screech, or Slater from Saved by the Bell.

There’s a slight play on blood types in the Bite Somebody series. Celia drinks A positive because it makes her feel like she got a good grade. Imogene drinks B negative because she likes being negative. Nicholas drinks O negative, partially because he gives women O faces but also because he’s not always the nicest bloke. Does that help? No? You could always do a taste test, but I accept zero responsibility if people get judgy and weird about the whole thing.

Anna: I was a straight-A student but I also hate everything, so maybe A-? 

Will there be a third in the series and, if so, can I suggest the title, OH, JUST BITE EVERYBODY AND HAVE DONE WITH IT?

No. No matter what my editor says. No third book. Although maybe a short story…

Anna: I refuse to accept this.

And finally, the most important question… who’d win in a fight: a shark with a sprained fin, or an alligator with an arthritic knee?

Shark. No contest. Because sharks are badass.

Author bio:

Sara Dobie Bauer is a writer, model, and mental health advocate with a creative writing degree from Ohio University. Her short story, “Don’t Ball the Boss,” was nominated for the Pushcart Prize, inspired by her shameless crush on Benedict Cumberbatch. She lives with her hottie husband and two precious pups in Northeast Ohio, although she’d really like to live in a Tim Burton film. She is a member of RWA and author of the paranormal rom-com Bite Somebody, among other ridiculously entertaining things.

Links:

Website: http://SaraDobieBauer.com

Amazon: http://amzn.to/2rnSvoC

World Weaver Press: http://www.worldweaverpress.com/store/p125/Bite_Somebody_Else.html

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorSaraDobieBauer

Twitter: https://twitter.com/SaraDobie

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saradobiebauer/

Now GO BUY THE BOOKS! 

BITE SOMEBODY is even on sale so you’d be, like, actually subnormal to miss your chance.